If I had to pick one book that was the catalyst of who I am today it was “Girl Stop Apologizing!” by Rachel Hollis.
This is one of those girl power, go kick ass, and don’t feel guilty women empowerment books. And thank God I picked it up when I did. It was life changing for me.
A few years back, I wanted people to see me as a good mom and wife. A working mom and wife, but one that stayed on the sidelines. Standing to the side to let them shine was how I thought I should act. I mean, isn’t that how we are supposed to be? If you weren’t home every night tucking in your child, then you’re clearly a bad mom. If I said my husband was handling the household or the kids, I got comments about how other women’s husbands couldn’t do such a thing. Note the operative word here is couldn’t, not wouldn’t. This implies these men were wholly incapable of domestic tasks, not just unwilling to do them.
While seeing my boys (husband included!) grow into the beautiful human beings they are did make me happy, for some reason it just wasn’t enough. I constantly felt like I WASN’T GOOD ENOUGH. This was not brought on by ANYONE around me. I brought this feeling on myself.
And if there is one thing in life we all have to learn, the only person who can change your feelings is yourself.
I began doing more, taking risks, making little leaps of faith. I began not caring about what others thought of me, and the “perception” of what a mom and wife should be. Quite frankly, the only people, beyond myself, who’s opinion matters to me live in the same house as me.
Reading that book helped me embrace that mindset. Here’s some truth: I cannot do everything I do without the people who share a roof with me. My kids help cook, clean, and, at times, will help me with work. My husband, who works just as hard as I do at his job, helps with cooking, cleaning, and, like our boys, even helps with my work from time to time.
The coveted work/life balance does not exist in any other capacity.
There are times I’m 75% work, 15% family, and 10% me. And that’s okay. Just as much as it’s okay for it to be 75% me, 10% family, and 15% work. I will work my ass off to be happy and fulfilled in all aspects of my life. And like Rachel Hollis, I’m not sorry.
As a woman, I want myself, my husband, and my children to see me as a badass bitch who is a hard worker. I want them to see me as trustworthy, capable, intelligent, and who someone with style. I would love everyone to see me that way but it’s okay if they don’t.
I know not everyone iterates that they are “busy” is weighing their words with such exacting care. “I’m busy” has adapted into our everyday language like “I’m hungry”, or “I’m tired.” But that doesn’t change any of the above.
Think about it, would you promote someone who says they are always busy? Would you call a friend who constantly told you they were busy?
We should all challenge ourselves to stop or at least reduce the use of the word.