Sun or Shade?
Friendships. They are so immensely important in our lives and are always a topic of conversation with my girl group. However, the conversation throughout our lives shifts as our friendships grow and shift. I have been blessed to have had a core group of friends that I’ve known since college. And while it is more difficult to make friends as adults, I find the friends I have made later in life are my everything as well. I don’t know how I got them, but here they are loving each other, supporting each other. We give each other shoulders to cry on, genuinely celebrate each other successes, and we never judge. I am so proud of every one of them and am always so grateful for them. I just feel lucky. Because let’s face it, life is hard, and having these friendships is essential.
The other day I was catching up on my favorite podcast, We Can Do Hard Things, listening to Glennon and Abby talk with Reese Witherspoon about friendships. I found myself saying aloud, YES! Of course, there is a lot to unfold.
Number one, Reese Witherspoon is such an amazing and beautiful force in our world. She is a successful actress, but more importantly she parlayed her acting success to lend a voice to women who were often left silent to fulfill their dreams.
Second, she is a self-proclaimed “girl’s girl.” My friend group is a mix of both sexes, but ultimately, they are all about strong women with intelligence and confidence. Your people are your people, and that should always transcend what societal norms are out there.
Third, you should always assess your friends. If you get a feeling from them that not all is good in the relationship, you should ask yourself “are they withdrawing more than they are depositing?” This is something I had to ask myself at times, and I’ve encouraged others to do the same. It’s super important to reflect and assess yourself – we are not immune to being wrong.
And last was a lesson Reese learned from someone else. It was about the people in this world. One-third of the people of this world will have your back, build you up, and be the greatest sources of energy. One-third are just plain old neutral. They could take you or leave you. The bottom one-third are the haters, the nay-sayers, those that relish your failures, or worse, instill the fear of trying for the fear of failing. AVOID the bottom one-third.
If you find one of those people managed to filter into your circle, gradually back away. I have a tendency to try and fix people, so I have found myself in situations where these people have filtered in. Through these experiences, though, I have learned to pick up on early signals, and not let them draw me to the dark side.
As I said before, I am so blessed to have my circle. I love these people, and I will scream it to the stars above. I want them to have all the same happiness they bring me.