Sun or Shade?

Sun or Shade?

Do you believe warriors are born? Or do you believe they become that way because of circumstances? I heard this question in a move trailer and can’t help but ponder it.
 
Are we born warriors? According to Greek and Roman mythology we are. They are the gods – good or bad, they are indestructible. One set to protect humanity, the other to destroy it.
 
While the mythology provides a nice story, I believe warriors are created based on circumstances. This then begs the question of why do some people go to battle, while others stand down? It is by choice. They chose to see the inherent value they see in themselves and others around them that creates the warrior.
 
Have you ever seen the show on Netflix called “Maid”? If not, I recommend you do. This is a story of a young girl derailed in life, pushed down to the depths of despair, who finally chooses to go to battle. It shows her struggles trying to pull herself and her daughter out of a bad circumstance. She succeeded. It was a choice she actively made. She became a warrior.
 
During a rough patch in my life, I was given the book “A Peaceful Warrior”. It was about a young man who was strong and athletic until he suffered an injury. He allowed his injuries to keep him down. Until with guidance and lessons learned, he began to fight back. He became a warrior.
 
In life we are surrounded by warriors, and we don’t even know it. True warriors are humble. They are led by good intentions not egos. They stand up for those who need it without regard to the implications to themselves. They value integrity and actions. Yes, they are self-assured, but that’s because they must be. And it is because of their experiences that have made them this way, not because they are born with it.
 
Being all the above is not an easy choice, but it is a choice. Therefore, some people become warriors and others stand down. All of us have the capability to be a warrior because all of us have had experiences that presents pathways of which direction to choose. Just remember, when you need help there are plenty of warriors around you to reach back and help pull you forward.

 

Difference Maker!

Difference Maker!

When I was in my twenties, I went to college full-time, worked at the university part-time, and managed a coffee shop full-time. I worked my tall off, but no worries, my social calendar was not affected. I was able to handle it all.

I had everything down pat. I went to school Tuesdays and Thursdays from morning until night, and maybe one class Monday and Wednesday. If I had a break on campus, I filled it with time as a student assistant in the Philosophy and Religious studies department on campus. This was perfect. I was able to do my job and study my courses. Campus jobs are amazing for students.

I would open the coffee shop at 5:00 am on the days Monday, Wednesdays, and Fridays; I would close it on Saturdays and Sundays. I learned a lot about customer service, bookkeeping, tracking inventory, and even more about managing people. It was a great experience that was most of the time too much for me to handle. But I did.

One Friday morning, I opened the coffee shop. Afterwards I went to campus for a group project, before meeting my friend in the park to go roller blading. It was a great day. And the evening was even better. because we get it.I met my friends back on campus for a party at one of the football players house. To this day, I don’t believe I had more than two drinks. However, my friends I needed a break and decided a couple of hours at a nearby diner for some coffee and food would do the trick.
 
Now, almost 24 hours later, I was dropped off at my car to head on home – an apartment about fifteen minutes off campus with a college friend. I should not have driven.
 
I remember the exact moment that got me into the ICU. I was tired of listening to that staple early 2000s song from Shaggy, “It Wasn’t Me”. Back then CD players in your car was the thing and my collection just happened to be under the passenger car seat. Leaning over was the last thing I remembered in that car.
 
Weirdly enough the next thing I remember before waking up in the hospital was riding in the ambulance. The people thought they were losing me. I can’t explain it, but I could hear and see them talking.
 
I was 22, lost and didn’t value all I had around me enough, nor did I have the ability to value what lay ahead.
 
I know many kids don’t at this age. Most of us thought we were invincible, impulsive in our actions. It’s not until we have kids that we truly realize how valuable life is, and how easily it can slip away. This is true whether you were reckless in your youth or not.
 
There were repercussions to my mistake that I suffer to this day. The blow to my head cracking the steering wheel because the airbag did not deploy, has impacted my memories and my intelligence. Words often become displaced for me.
 
However, that day I learned the value I was to those around me. That changed me. It made me realize that I must be responsible with the gift that God has given me. Trust me I am not a religious person, at least not in the traditional sense of intuitionalism. And this is one.

 

 

Edible Fact!

Edible Fact!

Business is personal, and those that say business is business are just covering up their “assholeness” with this fictious mantra. I say fictious because it is not true. People get hurt and upset, and that’s a fact. When someone is fired, reprimanded, demeaned, or cut out of the equation, they don’t respond shrugging their shoulders and say, “well, business is business.” Instead, they think of all the hard work, labor, and time away from someone or something else that could have provided a more positive and fulfilling mental state.
 
Only the person inflicting this mantra to others believes business should not be personal. Why? To elevate the person enacting the hurt from any responsibility. In other words, condone their behavior. At least this is how I look at it and I’m sticking to it.
 
I say all the above to get personal with people in managerial or leadership positions to understand the role they play. It is a huge responsibility. When people try and succeed, we often don’t credit them. When people try and fail, we often do not give take the time to find out what went wrong to help them succeed in the future. Instead, we tally. Tally up the times of failure and impact to the business. Therefore, when we cut someone loose or write them up, providing the litany of reasons why but never reflecting on our own strengths and weaknesses.
 
As businesswomen, we have the ability to change this dynamic. When we change the mantra to what is true, that business is personal, then our reactions to the people around us will improve. This is a fact.

Now to get my husband to listen to it. 😉

Evergreen and Everlasting!

Evergreen and Everlasting!

Know your value and your worth. This is so important in business. People have a terrible habit of chipping away at you for their own benefit. If you don’t hold true to your value and your worth, you will allow people to run you over. Remember they are only thinking of themselves and only know what they believe to be true (or what they heard from a friend who also does not do what you do either).

This is essential in business. Otherwise, you will be used and abused with the best intentions on the other side. And trust me, those who don’t recognize your value and your worth, will end up wasting your time and never appreciate you. So, get rid of the trash and clear the way for those who will see you for everything you got. Even if you are the startup company working to build your portfolio, your value and your worth is everything to your business.

This is my evergreen and everlasting advice this week. Short, sweet, and to the point… now time to start housekeeping.