This week’s difference maker is all about you! All of you are difference makers. With that being said, we hold an extraordinary responsibility to ourselves and everyone around us. No matter who you are, you can lift people around you or bring them down.
You can be the poison in your workspace, spreading seeds of dissatisfaction to create unhappiness and disruption, or you can be the leader, the problem solver. Or you can just move on.
In your relationships with your spouse, siblings, extended family, children, and friends, you could be the person who feels the room with laughter or tension. Even when you are not the creator, you can be the person to inspire and support others’ creations.
When you meet a stranger, a server, an, accountant, teacher, client, attorney, pretty much everyone you experience on a day-to-day basis, how you look and talk to them matters.
I had two notable experiences with people: one a stranger and one I’ve known for a few years. I have recently decided to start my own brokerage. This decision did not come from any dramatic event or disdain towards my former employer. It was a slow realization that they didn’t know how to work with a managing broker. I found myself wanting the freedom to succeed or fail without the weight of burdening others. In retrospect, I think we were all just holding back our truest intentions. I felt a lot like a third wife being brought into a tight knit family… it ain’t easy!
Anyway, a person who I just met asked me what was wrong. I guess my face was showing my feelings (horrible, guilty, and a little scared). I reiterated pretty much all the above. Her response was beautiful and exactly what I needed to hear. She said, you’re feeling this way because you’re a good person. You care about what you do and who you do it for. I’m sure you will be great at whatever you do, and if not, you’re a big girl and will start over again.
The other conversation did not go as well. This person, who I have never shown inner weakness said “wow that’s a lot! Are you sure you can handle it?”
I understand that she could have been projecting her own emotions. She may have just been stating how she would feel if she were in my shoes. Or she could just legitimately not believe in me. Either way, not cool.
AND THAT’S MY POINT!
Don’t be that person, the difference maker who stops progression, action, or positive vibes. Always take the opportunity to be the difference maker in the right way. Be part of the creation without being the creator. This can be achieved with a casual conversation, a smile, a compliment, words of encouragement, whatever!
I’m not saying you need to be “on” all the time, and I’m not saying that you shouldn’t be honest with people or ask questions. But please keep in mind that it’s how you project the who’s, the what’s, why’s and how’s that matter when communicating with people.
So today, tomorrow and the next day, start paying more attention to how you talk with everyone around. If you find yourself not being the right kind of difference maker, don’t beat yourself up about it. It doesn’t make you a bad person, but please acknowledge it and vow to make change. If you find yourself being the right kind… keep it up! And most likely you played that role in my life, so THANK YOU from every part of my being.