Difference Maker!

Difference Maker!

I promise to not make this political or religious, but Friday, June 24 was a difference maker, or at least it should have been. The Supreme Court reversed the ruling of Roe v Wade.
 
Some people finally felt heard after decades of protests, lobbying, and fundraising. The polarizing ruling was so much more than a spark.  It set a blazing fire to restrict, if not abolish, abortion completely, in all 50 states.
 
On the other end of the spectrum, man of us were left with bewilderment, feeling of loss, and a little bit of fear – if we’re really honest with ourselves. We assumed the leaks and the foreshadowing were all media rhetoric designed to get us to undermine the opposing political party.
 
Then for others, it was just another day. I think that bothers me the most. How could you not care?? I try to give grace to these people. But I must admit, graciousness has been difficult as of late.
 
I try to respect everyone’s opinions. I hope it is reciprocated for me.
 
With that being said, I found myself in tears after Friday’s historic ruling. I’m crying as I type now.
 
I was in New York at my sister-in-law’s, sipping on some coffee, texting my mom some mundane details of suburban life when the news broke.
 
I immediately called my mom. She of course thought I was calling about the text conversation we were just having. When I began to tell her what had happened, I just could not get the words out without crying. And once the tears began to fall, they just wouldn’t stop.
 
My mind went back into time before Roe v. Wade. Thinking about health care and access. Thinking about the glaring deficiencies in maternal support that still exist today.
 
My mind went to orphanages. Do we even have orphanages anymore? Weren’t there reports of abuse at them?
 
My mind went to my friend who had a utopic pregnancy that required an abortion.  Her state does not allow that procedure now.
 
My mind went to the mother who needs chemo but will be denied life saving treatment if she is pregnant.
 
My mind went to how I myself miscarried.  And how, in some states, I would have been forced to birth the baby naturally.
 
My mind went to being raped. What if I had been impregnated by my aggressor? I would have been constantly reminded of that horrifying incident every day for 40 weeks, while I carried that rapist’s child to term.I  know its not the baby’s fault, but I also know my state of mind then, and I would have killed myself preventing it from happening.
 
There have been a few who advised me not to incorporate this subject matter into my newsletter. There is fear that some of you might be turned off by this polarizing topic. Maybe this article did just that. But this is who I am, and this is how I feel. And silence is not MY answer. I have never been one to ride the fence, and I am not going to start now. However, I will always be the one who tries to understand other perspectives whether I agree or not.
 
To all those women who feel they just lost their right, I’m here to talk to, to cry with, to burn bras with.
 
To all those women who feel like they have finally felt the grace of God, my door is open to listen to you, to understand you.
 
I AM HERE! And let me tell you, I have been blessed to have friends who have done the same for me.

Evergreen and Everlasting!

Evergreen and Everlasting!

Some things will never change. How we learn is one of them. I was eighteen, entering college, when I learned about the four different learning styles.
 
I have a slight learning disability, and I struggled throughout all my schooling. I had to work doubly hard for any grade I earned, especially because I didn’t know the best way to retain the information I was taking in.
 
In college, a placement test indicated that I needed additional academic attention. So, at 8:00 AM every Monday through Thursday, I attended a preliminary class to help me understand my own learning style.
 
At first, I was ashamed of myself for needing this class. While all my friends headed off to their entry level courses, I endured the preliminary classes that preceded the entry level course.
 
Then I discovered all the various ways of learning. This was an extraordinary gift. Not only did it ease my collegiate path going forward, but it also made me attuned to the impact learning styles have on communication and comprehension.
 
I won’t get into too much detail but below is a quick breakdown of the four main styles of learning:
 

  1. Visual- People who need graphics, charts, diagrams, pictures, and the like are visual learners.
  2. Audio- Audio learners retain information by listening to others. There is a good chance an audio learner can listen to a lecture and perform well on a test. They also read aloud to truly absorb information.
  3. Reading & Writing- Taking notes and reading over what they have written is the best studying tactic for this style of learner.
  4. Kinesthetic- Hands-on learning. You can’t just tell the kinesthetic learner how to do something, they must walk through each step with you to retain the information being provided.

 
I don’t think I am alone in saying that I am a little bit of all of them. The trick is to find out which style you need to apply for any given situation.
 
The other point of significance is incorporating each of these styles into your business and marketing strategies, especially as you scale.

Edible Fact!

Edible Fact!

If I had to pick one book that was the catalyst of who I am today it was “Girl Stop Apologizing!” by Rachel Hollis.

This is one of those girl power, go kick ass, and don’t feel guilty women empowerment books. And thank God I picked it up when I did. It was life changing for me.

A few years back, I wanted people to see me as a good mom and wife. A working mom and wife, but one that stayed on the sidelines. Standing to the side to let them shine was how I thought I should act. I mean, isn’t that how we are supposed to be? If you weren’t home every night tucking in your child, then you’re clearly a bad mom. If I said my husband was handling the household or the kids, I got comments about how other women’s husbands couldn’t do such a thing.  Note the operative word here is couldn’t, not wouldn’t.  This implies these men were wholly incapable of domestic tasks, not just unwilling to do them.

While seeing my boys (husband included!) grow into the beautiful human beings they are did make me happy, for some reason it just wasn’t enough. I constantly felt like I WASN’T GOOD ENOUGH. This was not brought on by ANYONE around me. I brought this feeling on myself.

And if there is one thing in life we all have to learn, the only person who can change your feelings is yourself.

I began doing more, taking risks, making little leaps of faith. I began not caring about what others thought of me, and the “perception” of what a mom and wife should be. Quite frankly, the only people, beyond myself, who’s opinion matters to me live in the same house as me. 

Reading that book helped me embrace that mindset. Here’s some truth: I cannot do everything I do without the people who share a roof with me. My kids help cook, clean, and, at times, will help me with work. My husband, who works just as hard as I do at his job, helps with cooking, cleaning, and, like our boys, even helps with my work from time to time. 

The coveted work/life balance does not exist in any other capacity.

There are times I’m 75% work, 15% family, and 10% me. And that’s okay. Just as much as it’s okay for it to be 75% me, 10% family, and 15% work. I will work my ass off to be happy and fulfilled in all aspects of my life. And like Rachel Hollis, I’m not sorry.

As a woman, I want myself, my husband, and my children to see me as a badass bitch who is a hard worker.  I want them to see me as trustworthy, capable, intelligent, and who someone with style. I would love everyone to see me that way but it’s okay if they don’t.

I know not everyone iterates that they are “busy” is weighing their words with such exacting care. “I’m busy” has adapted into our everyday language like “I’m hungry”, or “I’m tired.”  But that doesn’t change any of the above.

Think about it, would you promote someone who says they are always busy? Would you call a friend who constantly told you they were busy?

We should all challenge ourselves to stop or at least reduce the use of the word.

Sun or Shade?

Sun or Shade?

Do you know where the saying “drink the Kool-Aid” comes from? I don’t want to make any assumptions, but I’m pretty sure we all know what it means. However, I for one, had no clue where it came from. In fact, as embarrassing as this is to admit, I thought the saying was coined because Kool-Aid is a sweet, sugary beverage that tastes good, but is terrible for you. However, the phrase comes from so much more.
 
The story is quite horrific.
 
The saying “drinking the Kool-Aid” refers to a “delusional, pseudo-guru” named Jim Jones. Rev. Jones had a very large following in California called the Peoples Temple of the Disciples of Christ. At first, Jim’s charismatic nature helped him fly under the radar. But when the government and media became outwardly concerned, Rev. Jones fled the country with a large portion of his followers to a farm compound in Guyana.
 
US Congressman Leo Ryan feared that American citizens were being mistreated by Rev. Jones and decided to check on them. Members of Rev, Jones’ congregation took offense at the inquiry and subsequently took aim at the congressman’s plane.   The Congressman and several civilians were killed. 
 
Rev. Jones knew there would be dire consequences for his acts of retaliation.   Instead of facing these consequences, Jim chose to lace gallons upon gallons of grape juice with lethal cyanide. Over 900 people, including 304 children, killed themselves, following a man they believed to have all the answers.
 
This is a true story. And now, when I hear someone say “they drink the Kool-Aid” the meaning might be the same, but the impact is so much more.
 
I’ve never been one to embrace extremes in opinion or behavior. Whether it be in religion, politics, or ideology, I tend to see the good, the bad, and the ugly. We all have our own personal good, bad and ugly.   So I question why we fail to apply the that same discerning thought process to all aspects of our lives.   Yes, it takes more mental energy to fully engage our brains.  But considering the potential consequence of  blindly swallowing what’s fed to you,  I think it’s worth it.